my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize