is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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