I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
