i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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