You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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