Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
