It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
