oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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