Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
