I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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