he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
