Fine. I'll sleep in my office
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
