I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
