is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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