I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
