This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
