Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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