I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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