He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
