yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Randomize
