I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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