She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
