yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
