i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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