My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
