I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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