WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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