i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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