K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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