She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
All I want is dick and wine.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize