Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
