He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
