She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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