He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize