Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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