and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
