Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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