She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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