Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
