You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
