Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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