i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
