scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
