he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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