piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
