Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You may now shotgun with the bride
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
