Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
