you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
