do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
