im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
