there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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