Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think i have two assholes
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
