I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
