last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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