So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
