thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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