It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
