a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
