All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Who died my cat blue again?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
