No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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