Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
