dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Randomize