i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
