we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
