420 ftw
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
