he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
