where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
