I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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