I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
