just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
