some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize