Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
