what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
