Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
